Slippery Slope of Standards

It’s without pretension in my voice that I tried to move away from the kitchen table at 9:02am but my arse was glued to the sticky cushion after breakfast. Tired beyond recognition, I sat facing another long Saturday without plans. Reviewing the two novels resting on the dilapidated kitchen table, my brains pondering how I had become a helpless “fat guy” without energy?

Pointing the fat finger at my latest desk job, wondering where the traveller of adventures had gone and why I was stuck in this 3-horse town in Central Alberta, Canada. Desperate times called for desperate measures but a man without funding is only as restless as the beauty within him. I looked over at my twin Player’s Congo Drums mulling over the idea of banging away a few hundred minutes of rambunctious tunes to awaken the soul slumbering within. Drastic details tossed aside, I settled into the couch with a cup of earl grey tea and a book written by Neil Peart the drummer from the now, debunked Canadian band, Rush.

With a desire to read about someone else’s adventures, I turned over the first page reading the following eight words, “Chapter 1, Into Exile, You can go out,” and decided I didn’t need to read his adventures, as I too needed to get out. I dropped the paperback on the couch slammed back my cup of tea and wondered into the bedroom. 12-minutes later I had located the only pair of shorts which still fit my unshapely unfit fat desk-guys’ body with a weekend collared shirt in hand and my LG Twins baseball cap firmly pulled down over my ears. Shocked by the stench emanating out of my mouth, I thoroughly cleansed my teeth, tongue and mouth with Armour Hammer baking soda in gel styled toothpaste.

Before I could pull together the provisions required to get myself out the door, I had turned on my laptop, plopped back down at the kitchen table and began rediscovering the idea of blogging. Format after format, customization page after customization page, I felt alive with an idea brooding in my head. Without realizing it, the time quickly slipped away as the mid-morning disappeared into the early afternoon.

By noon, I had completely resurrected my new blog as my stomach began to growl. I spat lyrics at my lazy self after realizing the time wasted in front of the computer just like at work. Stopping the bullying of myself, I slammed back a glass of water, popped in two thick slices of Gluten Free Bread into the toaster. Picked up a spoon full of Peanut Butter, swirled it together with raspberry jam and sent it down the gullet one chewy bite after another.

Lunch down, shoes on, wallet in pocket, keys in door, I maneuvered my way out of the condo meandering down the light grey corridor reminding myself of hotel floors reaching the stairwell descending 4-flights of stairs and exiting into the brisk wind as the dark meticulous cumulumbus clouds drove over the sun filling the sky with deep greys and dark blacks above. At any moment my expectations were, it will be pouring rains soon and I will suffer back, into the condo for another eventless afternoon.




  1. Hi, I check your blogs daily. Your writing style is witty, keep it up!|

  2. Thanks for the comment Harold. And hopefully, I’ll have more time to write this year than last.

  3. Jacki says:

    There’s certainly a great deal to learn about this issue.
    I love all of the points you have made.

  4. Thanks @jacki. There is support out in there in the world, as long as you are willing to embrace it. Many people who want to assist you, me, and everyone on living healthier and being more active overall. This year the intent is working out with a certified trainer and meeting with a dietician & nutritionist to ensure we are feeding ourselves proper amounts of healthy foods.

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