A Review of Living with a Sunrise Simulation Alarm Clock

It starts every year around October first when our family starts talking about the “Ole Christmas List” and what that might look like. You see every year we create a list of about 10-items for the others in the family. The items on the list are valued at $50 or less CAD. Last year I had this epiphany after talking to a colleague of mine at work. You should check out that article here; “Awaken your senses beyond the touches of your cellphone

As it goes, I was pretty tired of the whole “touching my cellphone 1-billion times a day” and precluded that I would stave off having my cellphone charging on my bedside table for 2021. AND… that I would purchase an alarm clock?

I had heard about these “fancy new” alarm clocks that simulated sunrise and assisted in WAKING YOU UP out of your nice slumber. I decided that was the clock for this guy.

Turns out… I never bought one.

Then the “Ole Christmas List” needed to be put together and item numeral uno was, drum roll please;

It looked dreamy coming out of the box. I was Sooooooooo excited to have this alarm clock. The cellphone charger went into our office along with my cellphone and I turned off all morning alarm clocks on the cellphone. I had rid myself of waking and touching my cellphone! Step # 1, removal of a cellphone addiction completed!

Immediately reading through the 8-pages of instructions everything seemed suitably fine as the honeymoon period begun. As any “normal man” the outlet plug was placed into a nearby socket and I began exploring the various options whilst reading aloud each instruction. When it came time to test out the “sunrise simulation” we started in the dark red hues, depressing the button until a bright daylight sun shone into the room.

The grin was ear-to-ear as the joy this alarm clock would bring over then next several days during our “practice” time together before I had to return to the office on my first work day of the New Year! The testing grounds would be Monday December 28, 2020 until Saturday January 2, 2021.

  • Night 1: Monday December 28
    • Alarm set for 09:30am – day off work
    • Sunrise set for 10-minutes prior
    • Soothing spa sound set to Ocean Waves
  • Morning 1: Tuesday December 29
    • Sunrise occurred on time followed by a groaning man being awakened by a light.
    • Snooze function immediately engaged
    • Sunrise light dimmed out
    • 8-minutes later the sounds of an ocean wave crashed beside my bed
    • Nearly chucked it across the room
    • Slammed fingers into snooze
    • Went back to sleep for 25-minutes
    • Alarm nor sunrise came back on
  • Night 2: Tuesday December 29
    • Alarm set for 08:00am – work day
    • Sunrise set for 10-minutes prior
    • Soothing spa sound set to Birds singing
  • Morning 2: Wednesday December 30
    • I rolled over before the sunrise occurred
    • I lay watching the clock as the time slowly ticked closer to 08:00am
    • Is anything going to happen?
    • Nope…
    • Nothing…
    • I laid stunned then rolled out of bed to go make a breakfast tea
    • Entering back into the room at 08:15am the “birds were singing
    • — damn it!
      • I missed the whole thing! Then shut it off before the wife woke up.
  • Night 3: Wed Dec 30
    • Alarm set for 08:00am – work day
    • Sunrise set for 10-minutes prior
    • Soothing spa sound set to Waterfall sounds
  • Morning 3: Thurs Dec 31
    • Rolling over at 8:03am the brightest light ever seen was blazing its ugly face into the wall
    • A hand reached out and depressed the snooze button
    • The light immediately dimmed
    • 7-minutes later the light reappeared as did the soothing sounds of a waterfall
    • I quit enjoyed the soothing sound
    • Except I am learning to despise this “sunrise simulation
  • Night 4: Thurs Dec 31
    • Alarm set for 09:30am – day off work
    • Sunrise set for 10-minutes prior
    • Soothing spa sound set to Soft music
  • Morning 4: Fri Jan 1 2021
    • It finally happened…
    • This morning I SNAPPED and shoved the clock off the bedside table its hues changing from dark red to orange as it fell to the floor and smashed against the ground
    • Thankfully, as it landed on the carpeted floor below, it also depressed the snooze button at the same time and it all went out
    • Some minutes late the light returned this time blazing its ugly face towards the ceiling
    • I rolled over and tucked my head under the covers then went back to sleep until 10:00am

Conclusion: Once upon a time, back when we lived west of the City, our bedroom window faced East. We would be awoken each morning by the glorious sunshine that filled our rooms. Today, the simulation sunlight alarm clock with deep red, orange and yellow hues is NOT a replacement for the happiness of an actual sunrise. The actual sunrise brings happiness to a slumbering human-being who maybe awakening from 5, 7 or 12 hours of slumber. Unfortunately I find the only humane thing to do, is return this particular alarm clock and find one that better suits this guys morning antics.

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