Entry # Five on this 2nd day of July in the year of 2002
Move and I shall speak to you. Run and I will share your joy. Excite and I will not disappoint. Ask and I may never comeback.
Love has reopened a longing inside my soul, holding back are these tears of my sorrow. A sorrow that wallows inside my head.
Sit… and I think. Think only of you.
Here, I am sitting, sitting here, waiting. Waiting for you to reply.
Your words, are lost in the thousands of miles. A distance, too great to see your face. And I sit. Paralyzed, where are you now?
Driven… have I driven you away? You are so far, far away. The clocks they sit on the wall, and the wall it just ticks and it rocks. Starring into space I am convinced I can hear your voice just beyond that concrete wall.
Once. Once I too was a soft person, yet I have escaped. Or have I?
Its followed me here into this land they call it “harmony” but you can see my disagreement spreading across my face! That once soft person who thought he was escaping in time, only to learn he never will. And he is only here to learn how to die.
Alas! Your tears, are heard over the thousands of miles of phone line but only become a simple reminder of how far apart we truly are. I am not alone, I scream inside my head. But you are too far away to see this ill-will expression on my face.
I am finally at peace with the journey that I have chosen. Except I know deep down inside that this longing and its conflict will remain.
Forever inside my head!